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Something odd
happened to me last nite.. although it wasn't really a dream, it fits into
sort of the same category.
last night i turned in at about 3:30. I had done a lot of writing that day, all on Zen.. i finshed up the day with the Dracula X chart in Zen S. As i lay back and let my consciousness unroll itself ino serenity, within about a minute or two i noticed a feeling getting louder and louder the more i relaxed. the feeling was close to that of being high, in that it was something you could try to ignore but would always be there. you'll see what i felt in this link here. it was a little bit more jagged and less smudged than this - i can't draw it but this old background i had comes pretty close - i'm sure my creativity drew from it. i was a little scared at first, but more excited to know somehting new was working in my brain for the first time, giving me this unique experience, like fire. almost immediately i found myself trying to think what it was.. i think i know the answer. the part of my consciousness that sits around and mingles thoughts around (the kernel) had so much in contact with the typing skill i was using yesterday because of the close contact i was in (writing about my mind), it habitually drove itself into sharing the space, as the typing skill was still trying to latch onto all that bullshit so it showed up from the other side. the feeling i described was the feeling of typing keys, and since i have an old keyboard, the keys make a loud clicking sound. the experience was a combination of that sound, although dulled to fit inside my mind's sound retainer, and the feeling of hitting on keys. the skill was by no doubt enhanced and keyed up on by my creativity as a natural response to the uniqueness of the situation, and also my reactant emotions must have added another spill to the picture. i suppose i could ompare it to how after playing tetris for like 5 hours, you see everything in the real world as a tetris block, or after cramming for a physics final you see everything in the world fitting into some sort of a physics formula. it waas different here though because it the experience went in the reverse direction - my mind was the source of fixation and i my mental compulsion was using it, rather than playing tetris having an outside cue key up an association in the mind. the fact that really intrigued me though was the part that i really know i'm getting somewhere with all this - although the feeling occured at pretty much the start of my relaxation and only lasted about 15 or 20 seconds, i can't assume i'm getting that deep into the mind, yet since i never had anything as fierce as this happen to me before, i have to assume it's the deepest i've ever gotten into my mind. just knowing that these two parts of my mind touched and shared a common space has to say something about my Zen transcriptions. this morning, after more than 5 years with the same keyboard, i switched to a quieter one. ;) |