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The reason you feel the way you do about people, past events, and the future is because of the representation that thing has built up in your mind. A person who likes flowers must have had some root feeling of happiness with a flower in some sense or another when he or she was at a very impressionable age. When I say a flower in some sense or another, this definition can be very loosely interpreted. The flower has made an impression in the person’s mind, but it’s up to them to figure out just when and where that took place. It sometime gets tricky doing this, I imagine like tracing a family tree backward through time (only a lot quicker). It must be done when the emotion’s still heavily set in your mind. Trace the image back and focus heavily on imagery in your brain, and especially try to focus on the nooks and corners your mind wants you to take (a shapen view of happiness is one that might have a hint of sadness, exasperation, or some other flavor added to it). When a person starts to get more and more of a grasp on who he or she is and where his or her past has been, more and more imagery will be recognized and the thoughts will be more easily traceable. Anyhow, ride these bumps and ridges of your mind down until you can’t go any further. If you’ve done well, you’ll remember it next time you get the feeling or a similar feeling, and the tracks will be freshly paved for you to continue on from there. If you’re wrong, you’ll know it right away because it won’t feel right. Your logic sensor will snap it out, or maybe it won’t, depending on how solid your grasp of the truth is. If you lie to yourself (something I habitized before but put heavy emphasis on not doing anymore), this won’t work at all. You’ll instead be caught up in the tangle of lies you’ve spun for yourself in your high memory (or middle, depending on how long you’ve been lying) – it’ll make it increasingly harder because the tracks I’ve described will seem more like clogged arteries that you’ll really have to push yourself through. Meditation helps calm the high mind down a little (for me), enough to get past some of the bullshit of you’ve got any, and also sleep will (heavily) symbolize your situation. Even after your emotion has left you, if you put any amount of work into it at all, you’ll have traces left over – these can also be of benefit to you. How was the trail shaped? Imagine it like a plant root. How many directions did it take and corners did it turn before being stopped? How many branches did it weave? How deep did it go? What good is all this? Well, finding a few of your roots, like what really makes you happy or what really makes you excited, can be very rewarding and cool. If a feeling truly is as rooted as you think it can be, it will be as mind blowing as the first time you experienced it (and I know I had some really good times as a kid). Not only this, but check this out, this is really cool. Let’s say you’ve been trying to change something about yourself but it keeps nagging you. It’s really lame and you can see the logic through as to why you should feel this way, and all the reasons are there, but it just doesn’t click with you. Well, if you got down on this deep level and found the root of why you feel the first way, you’ll be able to complete the thought out and in a sense, change yourself. Like everything in the world though, the chances of it happening are never 100%, cuz you can never have an entire grasp on what you were feeling at that point in time – that’s just beyond the human experience to really put yourself back there. Some parts will be carried through, others won’t. -- this trick, like any other, has its own inherint downfall. when i notice an emotion brought up by a song or something, i naturally try to harness it, but i find instead my own mind works against me. i had one right now do this: a. castlevania: cross a fear (trigger) - a song from Dracula X
b started out as the root emotion (the point where my consciousness was breached), and as i rationalized it, i first categorized it as a majestic melody, reminiscent of one i probably heard when i was younger. that aftereffect yet took another molding into a form i have readily prepared in full context yet little emotion - a character from the game neutopia. the character symbolizes the context of being majestic, but not the feeling of being majestic itself. what does this mean? i dunno yet. i think i need to listen to the song less, and forget about the ties (d) and (c), until (b) has time to reassert itself. perhaps i can't reassert it though - i might have spoiled it.. it's like candy, the first one is always the best. even though you want more, you know they won't be as good, and on top of that you're indulging yourself. boo =[ perhaps it means i shouldn't be doing this at all - the overinterpretation could be a sign of my own added conscious effort, hovering around in this process, adding a new variable. eh, you know what they say, you can never go backward, only forward. i've tried to not think about this, and it never works. i'll leave it at the point to say that the experience is different than any other, even the true intended emotional interpretation. perhaps i'll trigger this occasion 20 years from now and trigger even newer emotions, all based on the mix i created tonite. --
You get out of it what you put into it.
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